ASD peoples thoughts, observations, differences as you see it.

Children at times can find it quite scary being difference, it can trouble them.

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Some nights I look up at the stars as they shine so bright and it's

like they speak to me, a reminder of the bigger universe that

surrounds us all, I so love those still quite nights within my

solitude I ponder, no one to enter or distract my thoughts,

simply the world and me alone. So I wonder for that moment

in time is it just me and the world alone.? - Alyson Bradley

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Hi everyone, hope you find some of this information helpful, these Emails have been sent to me via various people and groups. I feel it is important to hear other peoples point of view on aspergers and autism, rather than just mine. Its also great for non aspergers / autistic people to be able to help them understand...

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Life is too short to wake up with regrets. So love the people who treat you right.

Forget about the one's who don't. Believe everything happens for a reason.

If you get a second chance, grab it with both hands. If it changes your life, let it.

Nobody said life would be easy, they just promised it wouldbe worth it. - Lynn Festa

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Some one said to me today (June 2009):

"do not waste time nor energy on things that don't or won't matter...concentrate on the things you will be remembered by. Make your mark on the world! It's never too late."

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My reply:

"I so agree on this, I have been so busy trying to help everyone else and somehow for a while forgot about self and now realize its only by doing what each and every one of us do best that we can really make a real difference to the world..."

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Response:

"Always remember above all...you, yourself are the most important...without taking care of yourself you will be of no use to yourself nor anyone else.I remember this everyday, with a tube of chapstick...if it is the only thing I'd have done for myself that day, I still thought myself important enough to have used it. xx Take care of number one...you - the rest will follow. Self esteem, interests, friends and most importantly the friends and family who love you - for you."

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My reply:

" I agree and that means we all have to be who we were born as, not a stereo type image for someone else!"

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World wide awareness is needed, people are transit, autism just is!

The universe is vast, autism unknown the world needs to listen

and be intrigued by our unique differences as they can only learn...

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1. Autism is not new. Any problem parents of autistic children have now others have dealt with them in the past. This means you can use what others have learned about autism to help you. You don't have to reinvent the wheel.

2. Autistic people contribute to their communities in many ways, no matter what constellation of obvious abilities and disabilities they demonstrate. Autistic people are valuable as they are. They don't have value only if they can be transformed into less obviously autistic people.

3. The very wiring of an autistic brain means that the autistic person is likely to have significant and unusual abilities. Those abilities won't always be make us employable, but autistics usually have excellent memories for facts accompanied by a drive to collect them. These abilities shouldn't be seen as disabilities or freakish "splinter skills" just because they are less common among non-autistic people.

4. The term autism spectrum does NOT describe a line upon which a series of "functioning levels" are laid out stepwise, with "low functioning" on one end and "high functioning" on the other. Just because a person seems to belong to one category at one point in their life doesn't mean that he or she will seem the same at another point in his or her life. The situation the person is in often dictates how "functional" the person is. Children, especially, can get moved from one autism spectrum diagnostic category to another during early childhood.

5. Listen to and respect autistic adults. They may be your best resource for information about autism, even if their apparent "functioning level" doesn't seem to match your child's. Keep in mind, they are adults, whereas your child is a child.

6. Professionals are a great resource, they can also be a big disappointment. Some professionals only know the doom and gloom version of autism. This can set you up to see only where your child "fails." This is dangerous because it may cause you to overlook the places where your child is succeeding. On the other hand some professionals will try to sell you on expensive and exhausting cures for your child. They give the wrong kind of hope. They may convince you to attribute your child's development to a drug or therapy that is not responsible for the development at all.

7. Autistic children love their parents. You may have to learn to see how your child expresses affection and not take it personally if your child doesn't show affection in the way that typical children do. Deaf children may never speak the words, "I love you," and Deaf parents may never hear those words, but it doesn't mean that Deaf children don't love their parents.

8. Don't buy into the common "siege," "attack," or "war on autism" metaphors. Similarly don't listen to the rhetoric that says, "your kid is an empty shell," and "kidnapped, soulless husk". Ignore the threats that if you don't do this or that your child will "end up in an institution." Treat your child with gentleness and respect, but also remember that he or she needs to be challenged and exposed to new experiences.

9. Don't let anyone make you feel like you aren't the most important teacher in your child's life. Don't let them make you feel like your child is so unusual that only someone with an advanced degree can help him learn, thus making you, the parent, superfluous.

10. The idea of "critical periods" or "brief windows of time" during which you can teach your child something, has been exaggerated and oversold. No one is advocating that children be neglected, but pushing hard to teach or otherwise transform a child in a certain time period could be as damaging as outright neglect. Autistic development is not the same as typical development. Autistics learn things in their own way, sometimes on a very different schedule than non-autistics do.

11. All children have what might look like lags development, likewise all children have what look like sudden leaps forward in development. This bumpy trajectory may be more pronounced in autistic children. This fact makes parents of autistic children particularly vulnerable to attributing a regression or the acquiring of a new skill to something that changes in the child's life. In other words, just because someone says, "I gave my child this pill and he started speaking the next day...." or "I changed my child's diet and suddenly he was making better eye contact...." it doesn't mean that it was the pill or the diet that initiated the change, it can easily be a coincidence.

13. If you find an M.D. who doesn't help with your child's health problems because he or she sees every physical symptom as "autism," or conversely, if a doctor sees only a genetic or congenital disorder and health issues that your child may have, and can't see the traits of autism or learning disabilities your child also has and how they impact your child's health, you may need to educate that doctor about how your child is different, or you may need to find another doctor, one with more experience treating children like yours.

I have AS, and I DO have feelings and emotions - Aug.07
I do not intentionally Ignore my family and as far as acting different in public, us Aspies tend to mimic others as we notice their behaviors, and believe this is the way we should act, even though it may feel awkward. We try to be what others want us to be, and truly do not understand at times our behavior is inappropriate (until it is to late and pointed out).

Living with us must be very frustrating!! I wont deny that Fact!

But please realize this, we live in a world which we find hard to understand. People have teased and harassed us as children because of our differences and lack of social skills. We struggle day after day knowing we are different but are unable to change. Yes we can learn how to mimic people! But we can never be totally successful with this, as it is very uncomfortable even painfully frustrating, filled with high anxiety, stress and chronic depression."

'his one I have trouble with. In my experience, the casual stuff isn't heard or remembered either. I've tried making appointments to talk about stuff later, sometimes that works, but not often. Is there a middle ground. Well, now that I can think of it, it took me many years to realize that, stuff pointed out to me here and there is stuff that I was supposed to do something about. Even if directly told "you need to do this" I would promptly forget it if I had something other in mind. It still happens every now and then. Still working on trying to be the real me....

As always I feel Tony Attwoods words below are spot on:

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From what alot of people are saying about being a social misfit, it is pretty bad to feel this way about fitting in and having great difficulty. I still have trouble fitting in socially with peers. As a matter of fact I just broke up with my best friend all because he misinterpreted something I had recently said. It can be hard to work and have social problems and be able to focus on the job. One thing everybody must keep in mind is the fact that you just have to be patient with yourselves and everything will be fine, because patience is the best virtue. I just wish Neuro - typicals would learn to be patient with Aspies, I know it's hard but they have to learn how to be patient with us. When we get something wrong it's hard knowing whether we're going to get screamed at or not especially alot of times when an Aspie is in school and their worried whether their teacher is going to get mad at them for not focusing it could be very hard. Even though Aspies may find it difficult to behave right and be social we just have to be heard better and taken seriously.

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Got that right.

I still remember kindergarten, the other kids taking the toy fire truck away as I was playing with it and saying, "NO! Like THIS!"

It's hard. I had a very bad time with a dear friend over a miscommunication, but he was a dear friend and we figured it out. My fiancee at the time (no, it didn't work out) helped a lot on that one I think.

Problem with getting NT's to be patient with us is a lot of them still don't know anything about AS, so they don't know there's anything up and think we're just being jerks. So we have to educate them about the world we live in and then tell them we live there. It sucks.

Oh, and by the way - if someone is going to scream at me over a misunderstanding then I don't keep them as fiends. I don't tolerate flying off the handle, intentional drama or any kind of lying. Zero tolerance. Period. Okay, so I don't have a lot of friends, but I know that the few I do have I can count on.

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Social Cues - Sept.07
I'm glad that you participate in an Asperger's walk. I know that it is common that Aspies have difficulty interpreting social cues, which includes body language and so forth. Also I have difficulty sometimes in that area but I am doing better then I actually was before. I think everybody should be open to talking about their Asperger's even though alot of people would interpret it as you making excuses, I just hate it when people think this. We should in every case be totally honest with anybody we are talking to. I don't live in New York but I would go to MJ Carley's group if I was living there. I am sure he probably has a good group with people who really want to improve themselves socially. If only I knew why Aspies had such difficulty interpreting social cues I'll never know.

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I have a hypothesis. It relates to face blindness. I have a photographic memory that's half useless. I can remember any sign, a page from a book, etc. But I can't READ a single word or even the page number. The MEANING of the thing doesn't get across to the other half of my brain. I can see the words, recognize that they are in roman letters and arabic numerals, even know that those numerals are the page number. Still can't read 'em.

My hypothesis is that my photographic memory has the same blockage as data coming from faces and body language: only the coarse content can get through. None of the finer meaning gets to the part of the brain that processes that information.

If I'm right, there might be a set of drills we could develop using an interactive computer program and video clips of actors of varying subtleties that could give us a hundred years of practice in a controlled environment in a few months. For example, I like Harrison Ford and Tom Selleck, but I don't get Alan Rickman. (My wife just helped me remember their names.)

I'd love to put together a program that does that. You'd interpret the expression or gesture and get an immediate right or "wrong, it's really..." answer. That would eliminate the uncertainty and the fear of trying it on real people and maybe give that old barrier a chance to develop into a bridge.

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I'm pretty sure that there is a program out there that does what you describe or very close.

A lot of Americans don't "get" English snarky. I LOVE Alan Rickman because he is the king of understatement in both word and body language - being snarky in a very understated, deadpan way. I think that deadpan can be extremely difficult for people with AS to "read" The key to it is subtle body language and sarcasm. Its a very British thing. I've noticed that some of the people I know with AS have a problem with sarcasm and others use it well. I don't know if there is anyway to generalize sarcasm and AS. (My husband and son are both adept, while some of our friends seem not to "get it".) and did you see "Snowcake"?

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No, I haven't seen "Snowcake." Hear it's good.

To say that the key to it is subtle body language, well, that doesn't help much for those of us who have trouble. I, for one, didn't get sarcasm until I was 28 (and I'm still only about 75% - I think) and had had some very specific lessons in certain body language gestures you encounter in business meetings. Things like leaning forward or back, folded arms, etc. I was able then to talk to a few other people and get a few other tips, then collate them onto groups and extrapolate a bit from there.

I have a friend who's a counselor (and extreme social butterfly) and once he found out I'm an aspie and I told him what some of the problems were, he spent some time watching his other clients and friends. Three months later he came back to me and said he was amazed at how subtle were the things he had previously thought were so blatant.

As for Rickman, my wife has a photo on the wall of Professor Snape from the first Harry Potter. When I see the film I can apply the context and see that he's thinking (the "Troll in the dungeon!" scene). In the photograph, though, I can't see that. To me he's just scowling. I loved him in "Quigley Down Under," though. Not a complex role, but lots of great lines. And his was the perfect voice for Marvin in "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy." I don't always get him, but he always does such good characters.

Oh, and by the way, I do enjoy the deadpan British delivery, as long as the language is very very clear. Deadpan sarcasm is lost on me, as it usually is in print. I loved the Irish stand-up comic Dave Allen. His delivery was British deadpan but the stories were so clear and filled with detail I could always figure him out.

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I loved the Irish stand-up comic Dave Allen. His delivery was British deadpan but the stories were so clear and filled with detail I could always figure him out.

Wow, another Dave Allen fan. I loved watching his show back in the 80's, and Paul Hogan's before Crocodile Dundee brought him to the masses.

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About what you were saying, I know how hard it could be to interpret facial expressions. I also feel sorry for the fact that you have trouble recognizing words and numbers. I can't really help you there but you might possibly have dyslexia or something. I'm not trying to insult you or anything but just trying to help you out. You should also probably go to a Psychologist and get tested for anything new on an IQ test. I don't have dyslexia but I do have ADHD a fairly severe case where I sometimes tend to have trouble focusing on tasks at hand but I do pretty well. I think we probably should have some type of program for people like us to be able to really learn how to interpret facial expressions, it would be great for us to have that type of experience. If only the government had more experience understanding us we could have more access to social resources and such.

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Sometimes angry at the world - mainly because of the job situation

– Sept. 07

In spite of the factor that I have Aspergers, sometimes I myself feel angry at the world mainly for two things. I don't have a job and because of my social problems in regard to Aspergers I feel I never had a relationship in my life. However I finally found out not long ago that there are no recipes or formulas or magic words or scripts in it but that I don't need to survive but right now I need a job even if its a part time job.

Yes I get SSDI right now for working for a long time in a bank but I am still waiting after almost a decade for a job and one still hasn't come in yet. So when is one going to come in I don't know and I amworking right now with Job Path and they have gotten me a lead or interview but however my Job Developer hasn't gotten me no new lead since the interview with RSDS Delivery didn't go through since Iwasn't qualified as a dispatcher. I try this GW temp service and nothing comes up with them so I feel angry at the world because its taking a million years right now to get a job and I need one and Iwish that problem was solved.

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Do you get frustrated over the fact that you are "good" at some things, and that you are kept from having good jobs merely because of social reasons?

I know getting SSDI probably makes you feel crappy, and you would much rather work. While you are probably thankful for the income, it isn't the same as knowing you would do your best on a job if given the chance.

I know someone who has some physical disabilities and went through many down times because nobody wanted to hire him/keep him hired. He tried volunteering at several different places until he found one where the people accepted him. He still doesn't get paid, but, he has some friends and respect that he hasn't had in many years. Sure, he gets agitated that he'd rather work for an income, but, this is what he has for now, so, he goes with that.

It did take him several tries, and he did get discouraged a lot, but, he finally found a place.

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The work world has been nothing but frustration. .. i've had over 50 jobs...Now at 52 i'm living with my mom, volunteering in the community and writing freelance... it is not enough to live on, but it is much more satisfying.. . i do wish i could get SSDI for the extra income, but i'm pretty strong emotionally and haven't had any of the other dxs (depression, general anxiety, etc.) that sometimes are a result of the frustrations of living with AS... and despite my work record, SS claims that i am not disabled enough and should be able to work...My community work has gotten me some friends, so that is a good thing.

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Exactly... How On Earth I can simultaneously be a social misfit AND a kind, reliable, dependable, etc. ad nauseum, "semi" human is beyond me! can i say "me too?" Yes i definitely understand. I'm 52. And, i've probably held 52 jobs, in most of which i've been told "we're sorry, you just don't fit in here"... Sigh.

Deciding to get out of the job mill has been the best decision i've ever made... even though I don't have much money to show for it...but money isn't everything.

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Perhaps i should not have brought the employment thing into the picture. All i know is that the person who wrote.

Hit the nail on the head... it is so true, it resonates, I"M STILL thinking about that statement...

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I disagree...if you have a skill that is needed, like in computers, which I do, sometimes doing projects on a temp basis is the best way to go, especially if you're not the office politics types (which by the way, most of us are not, a waste of time anyway), then then that is the way to go. Besides, in that industry, technology changes every 3-6 months, so it is best to keep moving, and still make decent money with having to beg for it.

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That is probably true in the technology industry... I was not in the technology industry... and sadly, many of those jobs didn't start out as contract work... no, i didn't possess skills that everyone else wanted, just skills that pretty much everyone else already had... (i was first in the office / AA world, then in the library world, then in the journalism arena)

The only fault i see with your strategy, is that when you work for an employer they pay for you to get more training and keep up your skills... If you're doing contract work, you have to figure out another way to keep up your knowledge base in an industry that is
changing so quickly.

Employment

Due to what you were saying about employment, it is hard for people like you and me to be accepted in the work world. I know because when it comes to accepting Aspies it can at times be difficult. We just need to figure out how Aspies could be helped and know that we can do anything we set our minds to. We Aspies are very smart people and other people just need to realize that. I read this book on meditation which tells about the mind and how it has four states which include, negative thought, wastful thought, reflective thought and positive thought. For people like me we are on wastful thought. I admit that I do waste energy and focus mostly on privaleges which isn't very good. I just need to focus more on important and focus also getting organized. We are great people when it comes to working we just need to let people know this.

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Yws, you're right, . And yes, - but it is not always easy, because people in the world have many stereotypes and notions and it is sometimes hard to break through these, and people may not accept us or see through
our faults to see the silver lining underneath. This is so true.

I do not agree however that . There are many things i CAN do, and do well, and also many things i will never be able to do. I will never be a surgeon, i will never be on a ball team, i will never be a great dancer or ice skater... I simply don't possess the balance or coordination to do these things. I believe one of the keys to our success is to recognize our strengths and develop them. I wish i had developed my writing skills earlier in life... but at least i'm doing so now.

What about Work

I have found that unless I am behind a computer creating a website or looking up something in a research aspect or data entry or something like that it is hard for me. I am looking for work at the moment but I am not sure what it is a really want to do.

I guess I feel like the way it is now I have to work it is not a questions. but from my job history as a paralegal and a secretary and others, I hated it. Everyday I pulled my self out of bed to go and on the inside I was in constant turmoil. Can any one relate.

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t can be hard to decide what you want to do at any moment in your life but one thing you should keep in mind is the fact that everybody goes through life not knowing what they want to do. I myself am in that situation right now, I mean I am 24 years old and am a cashier at a local grocery store and like it pretty well. Being a cashier isn't exexactly the easiest job when it comes to dealing with people but at leleast it's an experience to have in your life. Are you good at
dealing with people, I know how hard it could be for us Aspies to be able to deal with the general public. There is one book that I find very interesting I would reccomend that anybody who is looking to improve themselves socially to read. It is called How to win friends and influence people, by Dale Carnegie. I think that this is a great book for anybody to read and I would definetly recommend that you read
it to.

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Social Factors I have learned - Sept. 07

yes I don't do well in the social department much either and I too have trouble with Social Cues as well as others in not understanding Body Language. Don't forget because I have Aspergers Autism right now I have never had a girlfriend relationship in my entire life yet others with Aspergers have had them. I know that because I have been going to Mr. XXX Asperger group in NYC since early 1995 and I still go to it and Mr. XXX helps me a lot in Emails.

Yes I know there is no recipe for getting a relationship and there are no set social signals for "He can ask me out for a get acquainted cup of coffee or soda date to get to know each other" or "he can ask mefor my phone number either cell or land". Girls even ones that don't have Aspergers or Disabled are just as scared as guys and all you have to do when the right place and right time comes is ask without opening lines or come ons or anything and just ask them and if they reject you its alright and just tell yourself like the Confidence Mr. XXX mailed called "I am an honest and intelligent person and super to be around and its just the other partys loss" Plus there a factor of before I get back on the horse and advance to the next fish in the sea, just understand that she can't take the credit and satisfaction of the factor that I put time and effort into it and yes I still have my friendship with this 5 year friend Maria that loves me as a friend and it will never end. Plus I still have these Chiller trips and Charity Walks I go on including the Autism Walk where many people were proud of how I told them about my Aspergers.

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I'm 78, and never felt friends were for me, male or female. A woman I met in a partial-hospitaliza tion program (Which contrary to most, encouraged outside socializing; I started going to parties for the 1st time since Jr. High graduation, and actually performed in front of fellow patients twice at the hospital!) took a motherly interest in me, altho she was younger. She had me over for dinner weekly and an ALL holidays. When she got sicker, I did her shopping and finally paying, too, tho she saved the receipts and was going to pay me back when 'ship came in'. I resented this, especially buying her cigs when her pain made her resume smoking, but felt I couldn't stop. She did make two realistic attempts to recompense me, by taking out an insurance policy and opening a bank account in trust for me, but both came to little or nothing. That's a close a relationship as I ever had, but I've never tried to have any.

I don't initiate conversations with strangers, but like to talk if they start (except once when he turned out to be a racist and I just stopped replying). I don't have the self confidence to ask anyone for anything unless I'm pretty sure it's a minimal bother and they'll probably agree. When my lawyer asked me to get former fellow employees to testify for me against their employer, I asked whoever came out of
the elevator first and was surprised that all but 2 of about a dozen agreed! It didn't improve my confidence on any other matters, tho.

Yes Good Things in my life despite getting relationship problems –

Sept. 07

Hi you are right about this, there are good things in everybody’s life including Autistic and Asperger People and including my life. Yes I haven't worked at a paying job in almost a decade (except for that workshop job at Fegs recently) and Job Path NYC is doing their best along with myself in trying to find a job plus a temp job.

Plus yes I have social problems too like the factor of I have never had a girlfriend of a boyfriend girlfriend relationship in my entire life but despite the many problems I have relevant to Asperger or not, there are good things in my life too.

Like the factor the way I have sold my comic books and maps and LP records and other novelties and things on Ebay. Plus the computer things I enjoy including Internet and yes my knowledge and enjoyment of Television and Movies and trips I take to places around my White Plains NY area.

Plus even with the people department(area of which I have a problem), I have this super 5 year friendship with Maria and I have met other people at other places too and I enjoy those Chiller Trips and Charity Walks too where I meet other people and have met people at Weight Watchers and my gym too. But however right now I am doing my best after this job thing gets settled to work on that relationship problem.

Social Relationships Factor and the future confidence I got

I know I may of said before and thought that because I have Aspergers that its impossible for me to get a relationship and that everyone one in the world hates or dislikes me but globally that is not totally true. Yes I have never had a relationship of a girlfriend in my entire life because of being scared but as others have said to me, there is someone out in the world that could be interested in me but I never know until I put the work time and effort into trying.

Here are things I have learned from others and Mr. Carleys Group just recently and Mr. Carley himself too. Girls or Women(including very pretty as good looking as Vanna White types) are just as scared as guys in the establishment of relationships and that includes non
Disabled and Non Autistic and Non Asperger Ones.

People meet people all kinds of different ways and at all kinds of different places and not just in group situations or clubs or schools or work, but on the street, in supermarkets and stores, and on buses and trains too and yes at spread out expos too like street fairs and yes charity walks, where I met people including some at two recent Autism Walks.

Back to what I was saying, girls want guys to ask them out and yes you don't know them at first, but however going on that first get acquainted date is where and how you get to know each other better.

Plus as I was told many times in the aspect of getting dates and relationships, there are no recipes or formulas or scripts or magic words in it, including asking a girl for her phone number or out and theres no set body language signals to describe for it either.

All you have to do is ask the girl with no come ons or any type of opening lines and either they say yes or no.

Now back to me in my regard on it. As soon as my work situation gets solved(my job developer might have a lead for me right now), and I meet someone someplace sometime and I don't care about the aftermath
of it here is what I will do. I will ask that person for a get acquainted soda with me and if she rejects me I will accept the rejection with flying colors and get back on the horse and move onto the next fish in the sea that I meet no matter how long the next one comes. Not act desperate or needy and try to tone down my anxiety when doing it.

Here are Mr.Carleys words or confidence that he gave me in the Email to help with being less scary. He said I was a dedicated and honest and intelligent person, who is willing to do what it takes to have a happier life and metaphorically that includes the time and confidence and effort I put into that friendship with Maria and the trips I take to the Chillers and Chiller Clones and my going to the gym to work out with the treadmill and other things and some people that I have met at the gym and Weight Watchers too. Plus he said if I take the rejections with flying colors I will feel that I have the happiness and satisfaction in regard that I tried hard and can give myself excellent credit for that. Plus metaphorically think about at the same time after I get the rejection before I get on the horse and the next fish in the sea comes along, that I still have the Chiller and Chiller Clone trips(including charity walks) and lots of great things that happened with Maria and others and my friendship with Maria. So that's the confidence that Mr. Carley gave me and I won't have to be hurt if I am rejected because I have the satisfaction that I tried to the best of my ability. Plus that other party that has rejected me can't take away the hard work effort credit or satisfaction that I got and she can't take the friendship I have with Maria away either.

Plus when I was at the recent NYC Autism Walk and told many about my Aspergers and Autism and my social problems many of them that I met were very friendly and sympathetic about it. Plus when I said I am very good with computers and selling on Ebays and other talents and I said I have social problems many of them said you are doing socially well now.

Yes one more thing Mr.Carley added was theres a lesser chance of some rejection if I make myself look good and dress right and act like I have charisma and be macho and desirable and have the right type of posture even if I have Aspergers, theres a chance of some less rejection.

So if this dating and relationship is a slow process then how come many people have relationships so easily or marriages including some disabled or with Autism or Aspergers.

Things I do to Occupy Myself – Sept. 07

Hi , yes I have problems that bother me a lot and some of them are relevant to my Aspergers with my Social and Emotional and Anxiety Problems and some are not. Plus mostly what bothers me and I do my best to keep my mind off it is the frustration of getting a job because Vesid and its agencies hasn't found anything for me except that Fegs Workshop where I worked on putting circulars in bookstore bags of different colleges and the Follett Bags too. Plus yes my social and the understanding of relationship problems too and my emotions as well.

What I do to occupy myself is I watch VHS and DVD movies I bought and old TV shows I taped and my Ebay work and also play computer games including my You Don't Know Jack games and go on those trips and to the gym. That is what I do mostly. Plus do things like this on the Internet.

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Computer Games - Sept. 07

I wonder what sorts of games people here like to play? do they prefer computer games by self, on line games with others they cant be to see, or playing x box like games with peers in the real of life orboard like games and why you like of the choice you chose the most?

As for me I to love most any game that is of one player and with patterns to it such as blockus, or sudoku, and or bejeweled. I to also like solitaire. But one game that is of different that I to enjoy but never to play to win or such but just like the creating of it is of ZEUS it is of a computer game. I to like to create the community and build the resources and it has teached me much about how real cities and communities grow and work as a whole.

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Frankly, I'm old school with computer games, like Pacman, Pong, Space Invaders, Donkey Kong and such, but for entertainment, I just go out and just do it:--)))

Commet

I love computer games too very much. Ever since I had my first Commodore Computer in 1985 while I was a CompuServe CBer I had played games like the MS Pacman just like at the arcades and also the Popeye Game too and other cartridges and then came IBM PCs or IBM Compatable with MS Dos then Windows 3.1 and Windows 95 now Windows XP since the World Wide Web on The Internet came up. Right now I enjoy the Hoyle Games and the You Don't Know Jack series the most along with Solitaire Games on the Computer or Card Games you play with make believe characters. However I have played Backgammon and Cribbage on Yahoo Games.

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I play FRG's Diablo, Neverwinter nights, and the ilk. I also like sims games like 1502 AD and some of the "warcraft" type games. I am a whiz at Bejeweled (my top score is in the 7 millions) and I waste a lot of time on Zuma when I want to chill out and not think about anything.

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This goes back to the mid eighties or early nineties back when IBM PC's had old DOS games even before those old Windows 3.1 games and there was this one game that I did like alot that a friend of mine with a computer too had. Back then I was using the Commodore 64 and he was using an old PC with DOS before even the Windows 3.1. That was a game called Ancient Art of War and in it I got to write my own story of how Crazy Ivan was trying to take over Jughead Park and I had lots of bridges put in and did many fights of those on bridges long before I would get the enemy flag.

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However I have played Backgammon and Cribbage on Yahoo. I was taught cribbage during my freshman year at college by a guy who used the optional rule that allowed him to claim all the points I didn't notice for myself. He slaughtered me and put me off the game for 1/2 a century. I just started playing again, vs. a computer (automatic scoring) on a site called something like TVGames. Only 3 games per week are free there to non-paying members, so I'll only be able to play periodically.

My favorite game there is Trains (BIG version) Involves strategy in assembling freight trains and has good graphics and MARVELOUS trainmusic and sound effects!

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My neighbor's daughter, now age 29, was what I would consider a selective mute while she was in school-- elementary through high school, and I would never consider her autistic, and especially, not Asperger's, although one never knows for sure, based on observations. But to my knowledge, she had no other quirks, or obsessions, and was not preservative. She was my older stepdaughter' s best friend for years so in our house for a good decade. We just considered her shy and quiet. She had a pleasant personality and a good sense of humor. She went along with whatever was asked, at least in our house.

 

At her own house, she participated in typical screaming matches with her sister and two brothers!

 

There's a boy at my sons' middle school who is also a selective mute. At school. At home he is not. He and another sibling are being raised by an older sister-- I don't know what happened to the parents.

 

The boy does have some autistic features but I wouldn't consider him to be autistic either.

 

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I think the "line" is defined by other attributes, like whether or not a person has processing difficulties, obsessive interests, or a combination of other autistic traits.

Selective mutism is generally treated best through psychotherapy, since the root cause is an Anxiety Disorder. As a speech language pathology assistant (and person on the spectrum) I occasionally end up seeing kids with Selective Mutism, and can confirm that situational anxiety seems to be what brings on their symptoms. Children with Selective Mutism can look, sound, and interact perfectly normally in some environments - usually at home. It is usually at school or in the community that their communication problems manifest. They read body language and facial expression at a normal level of comprehension, and are able to respond back appropriately on that level in all settings.

 

Children on the spectrum may have social anxiety about speaking that may be context dependent - but they will have impaired understanding of body language and facial expression, and "unusual" responses to these cues in all settings. They may or may not have a co morbid anxiety disorder, and if they do, it may manifest as Selective Mutism and be treated appropriately with psychotherapy - but please note that the psychotherapy will ONLY help the Anxiety Disorder, not their true Autism Spectrum characteristics. Walk in beauty & pray for peace.

 

 

August 2007

Invisible disability

Because aspergers has no immediately obvious physical symptoms. I find my child is often perceived as being a defiant smart child who speaks there mind, they can also without knowing be quite insulting and bosses.

 

I think this is because they are too honest and other children see them as tell tales, my child also becomes very upset when other children do not follow the rules, because they do not know any difference, to them it’s that simply, do it the right way as does not make sense to them to be wrong!.

Noise can be a real problem

When I was a child, if stayed at someone else’s home found it so, so difficult to sleep if any unusual noise not use too. Have been known to put a clock that ticked too loudly for me into a cupboard and piled up as many cushions as possible on top, to try and stop the tick. It was like my whole focus was on that clock to the point I would be so distracted there would be no way I would be able to sleep, without stopping it.

The funny thing about that incident, I forgot to get the clock and cushions out of the cupboard. Never mentioned it again to anyone, I guess the parents just presumed I was hiding things as children do!

I have really good hearing, but if go out and lots of conversations going on just cannot hear at all. Same problem when on the phone, if anyone interrupts or other sounds cannot hear. It’ like I have to over compensate at times, and can get quite frustrated, when people interrupt me. Also if I’m thinking hard about something I may not hear you if you talk to me. It’s like I can over focus just on one thing at a time, and if too much is going on triggers stress.

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Taste and Smell

Some foods my child just cannot take, use to think it was me. Everyone tells you children will eat anything if you do it right! So glad when I found out this is not always the case, and it really was not me.

There are quite a few things that my child just cannot eat, finds too yucky. It could be something that all the other children love, but to them it’s the worst taste ever and they just have to get it out of their mouths, even if it means spitting it anywhere, that or be sick – yes can be that bad. Can be the same for smell of food, just the smell can also make my child gag. Of course others think my child is just extremely fussy, but that’s ok, because I know different now.

Too Talkative

A child with aspergers syndrome will often not make eye contact when speaking to you. They will either look at the ground or just look away from the person to whom they are speaking. Despite these socially awkward traits, many aspergers children will be quite talkative, usually about one topic that they may seem to be obsessed with. It can be something as simple as Pokémon cards or something obscure that they just saw on television.

AS children are usually social in nature, but often lack an understanding of social cues or the inability to understand body language. This can extend to the basic ability to start and end a conversation as well as the idea of waiting to speak until the person you are speaking to is finished. These children also often do not like any change in their routine and can become very upset, by something as simply as a desk move in classroom.

AS children seem to get upset quicker when teased.

One child starts to annoy the other child (who happens to have aspergers) the asperger children seem to me to get upset, much quicker than the average child. They seem to get frustrated, upset much quickly and raise their voices, or withdraw and can end up so upset that they at times burst into tears. If ask why they are crying, never seem to know. I think it is a buildup of misunderstood frustration and emotion.

But the strange thing is these children are usually more than capable of conversation and really good academically, more so than what society chooses to call the norm!. Maybe they just get annoyed because cannot understand why the other children do not listen to them, teasing maybe just does not make sense to them. Could it be that they are too intelligent to understand this basic unnecessary game.

Obsessive compulsive tendencies

Obsessive behavior I feel this can be a real problem for asperger syndrome individuals. But remember as a parent do not over control, or try to change to much as Obsessive tendencies can turn to gifted talent.

When growing up we do not always understand, that when someone says no, it means no. I can remember if I wanted something, it just had to happen or felt like the end of the world. I found the more rejected the more I seem to want things. A good example is when they phone a friend, and not in. Unlike the norm, seem to be able to just leave a message and forget about, can feel the need to continually try and contact, until have a response. It’s like have to finish that task to able to move on.

As a parent of an asperger child, you really need to set clear boundaries and discuss and explain any differences the child may have. Otherwise as a parent, you may be telling your child something, that just does not make sense to them. They may feel a lot of what you do is wrong. You really need to step out the box from time to time, get out of that safe zone and remember things, what may be right for you, may not be the best for them.

Aspergers does not help much with relationships

Relationships they really can be a bewildering process anyway. Aspies usually find even harder because it is a lot harder for them to show real emotion, when growing up I had real problems at times knowing how to respond. I could be in a relationship one moment content and happy and the next just felt distance and cold. There are times I just need to be on my own, and can get quite frustrated when others want to be around me. At times I may seem to push people away one moment and then wonder what their problem is the next, can be quite confusing for partners, has taken years for my husband to work me out!

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